Scale, you bitch.

I know, I'm awful to you. I leave you in the closet, on the floor no less. I only bring you out once in a while, and when I do, I walk all over you. Like I said I'm awful.

But that doesn't mean you have to be such a bitch! You just keep showing me what I don't want to see. You keep climbing up there, laughing as you go.

Well how are you going to laugh if I remove your batteries? It won't be so funny then will it?

Look scale, I don't want to fight with you, I would love it if we could just get along.

I will try to be more gentle, and maybe you could try to show me a lower number next time. Deal?